The Social Media Murder Corp Read online

  The Social Media Murder Corp:

  Book One

  Written by The Steve

  Copyright 2014

  For Kefira, who wore her scars like a tiger.

  For the REAL Danger and Destruction, whose identities I shall forever keep secret, and who allowed me a glimpse into their lives: “Poison Clan rocks the world!”

  And in the end

  The life you make

  Is equal to the lives

  You take

  PART ONE

  The man could not breathe. He gasped, the pressure around his throat growing harder and harder. His arms, strapped to a chair, his legs strapped to the floor, a mask on his eyes.

  Can’t breathe. His throat feels like someone is slicing it with a thousand razor blades. He struggles, his breathing comes in gasps.

  A camera watches, a microphone listens. The man’s struggle is being recorded in all its HD glory. He is older, about 70, a grandfather with a loving wife, two adoring daughters and 4 grandchildren who think he is Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny all rolled into one.

  He just shit his pants as the life is choked out of him.

  The rope around his neck is pulled tighter. Behind the suffering grandfather, a masked individual in a black robe is pulling on the rope, bringing his happy life to a close. Another individual, also masked and in a black robe, watches the proceedings, occasionally glancing down at a laptop, an unseen smile on her lips.

  The rope is pulled tighter. The grandfather urinates himself. His mind is racing. He remembers meeting his wife, going to her house for their first date in a bad fitting polyester suit, his hair combed back, and a bouquet of flowers he bought from Woolworth’s. His mind focuses on their first awkward kiss.

  He sold hotdogs from a roadside cart he borrowed the money for. This little hotdog cart put both his children through college. He loved selling hotdogs, he gave free hotdogs to military veterans, handed out balloons to children, and always had a smile on his face. He was the type of person the whole town knew and loved. Even at 70, he still brought the hot dog cart out on weekends to sell by the road, his wife sitting in a lawn chair next to him playing Candy Crush on her Nook.

  His trachea collapsed. A jolt of pain shot through his body. Under the mask, his eyes went wide. As he slipped into the darkness forever, he said a silent goodbye to his wife and family, and forgave those who took his life from him.

  The rope pulled tighter. His head flopped back, his neck broken.

  “SIX MINUTES!” the hooded figure behind the laptop shouted.

  “Fucking yeah, new record”, the figure pulling the rope laughed as it began to untie the noose from the now dead grandfather’s head.

  “Fuck, we are getting so good at this. This asshole made a shitload of gurgling noises, sounded like a stopped up pipe or something”

  “Yeah, oh my fucking God this idiot pissed and shit himself! This is too fucking good!!”

  “Fuck yeah, that is fucking ace. Too bad we can’t transmit smell. Jesus, I thought old people wore diapers?”

  “Nah I think they only do if they got bladder issues”

  “Well this guy has no more issues, fuck him.”

  The two figures gathered up the laptop and webcam. Packing everything into a Nike gym bag, they walked out of the windowless room.

  “How many hits?”

  “I guess, 3 million. First 24 hours. Fox and CNN coverage within 30 minutes of release.”

  “Sounds about right.”

  “Hey you wanna get White Castle?”

  “I’m down.”

  Live Leak

  Upload your video? Y

  Uploading.

  Upload confirmed

  REDDIT

  THREAD TITLE: SMMC UPLOADS AGAIN LIVE LEAK LINK

  TehTrollzer

  OMFG THEY UPLOADED TO LIVELEAK 15 MINUTES AGO THIS IS SICK SHIT

  Lolcattington

  Holy crap grab the video before its taken down

  Chimpout

  Wat da fuq!?!?!

  WestboroFred

  GOD WILL KILL THOSE FAGS LOL

  TehTrollzer

  Fuck this is off the railz.

  Obama’sArse

  I blame Bush lol

  Tekkenrulez

  Really? We celebrate murders now?

  FAN-Networqs

  Fuck off, people are murdered every fucking day. Why not get some lulz out of it?

  Mudkipz

  Did they kill niggers this time?

  RadicalDan

  I think niggers do it to themselves enough they don’t need the SMMC’s help lol

  Lolcattington

  Got the vidcap. Holy shit Live Leak has exploded. Any guesses to time of news coverage?

  Tekkenrulez

  You fucktards do realize that another person has just been brutally killed by the SMMC right? I mean, it must sink in on a human level to SOME of you? RIGHT????

  FAN-Networqs

  I detect much butthurt in Tekkenrulez lol

  RadicalDan

  LOL

  Obama’sArse

  He is just butthurt because he is a fag lawl

  Lolcattington

  These aren’t people I know so fuck em. Teh lulz is what matters!

  RadicalDan

  THIS IS SPARTA!!!!! LOL

  TekkenRulez

  Meh. Whatevah. Imma go watch pron.

  YOUTUBE TRANSCRIPT:

  SMMC BRINGS THE LULZ

  Masked Figure 1: Hey hey hey fellow followers of the lulz! It’s me, Danger!

  Masked Figure 2: And me, Destruction!

  Danger: And we are…

  Danger/Destruction: THE SOCIAL MEDIA MURDER CORP!!

  Danger: This week’s murder death kill is brought to you by those fine fine folks at:

  Destruction: Mountain Dew!

  Danger: When you are tired from a hard day of murder and mayhem-

  Destruction: Only a Dew will do ya!

  Danger: Drink lots of Mountain Dew bitches!!!!!!

  Destruction: Now on to this week’s kill. Who do we have here? But a gentleman who needs NO introduction to his friends or family!

  Danger: But since the rest of us do not know who the FUCK this asshole is, let us give a truly lulzy welcome to-

  Destruction: Mr. Mortimer Cohen Stein!

  Danger: oh my God he’s old!

  Destruction: That’s right! This old pervert has been doing perverted crap for like a zillion years! He also sells hotdogs, pretty suggestive eh?

  Danger: I love hotdogs. Fuck now I’m hungry Destruction.

  Destruction: Jesus Christ Danger we ate like 2 hours ago.

  Danger: I can’t help it. I want Pop Tarts.

  Destruction: Fine we can get Pop Tarts after the broadcast.

  Danger: YAY!

  Destruction: Anyway, shuffling right along, why exactly is Mr. Stein seated in the chair of ultimate judgment today?

  Danger: I am glad you asked that! Mr. Stein is NOT here today because he is a Jew, so you anti-Semitic types can go fuck off.

  Destruction: He isn’t here because he is a Jew.

  Danger: He isn’t!

  Destruction: No, we aren’t anti-Semitic.

  Danger: Because racism is wrong!

  Destruction: Mr. Stein is here today because, well, let’s allow Mr. Stein to tell us in his own words! Roll the footage!

  Mr. Stein: I, I mean I, need to confess…to the world….that for years, unknown to my family, I kept a secret. Years ago…oh God forgive me……the pain I can’t take it…years ago….I forced my niece Vanessa, to orally pleasure me. GOD FORGIVE ME WHY IS THIS HAPPENING NOW!?!?

  Danger: Yes. Mr. Stein committed an unpardonable sin. A wretched cr
ime of perversion that he has kept hidden all these years.

  Destruction: A sin and an act forced upon a trusting and caring 11 year old girl. A girl so traumatized that she never recovered.

  Danger: A trauma so bad it led her to a life of drugs. Of crime. Of debauchery.

  Destruction: Her own sins have been washed away by penance. Her misdeeds have been forgiven.

  Danger: But the universe hates loose ends. And we are here to close the noose, literally.

  Destruction: So as you watch Mr. Stein’s life come to an end, remember, the universe requires balance.

  Danger: AND WE REQUIRE THE LULZ!

  Destruction: Damn right bitches!!! Now let the judgment be fulfilled!!

  Danger: I really want Pop Tarts.

  END TRANSCRIPT

  Blog Post

  “Who are the SMMC?”

  Two days ago, an old man died, and the nation laughed. Well, part of the nation anyway, not all of us. The self-named Social Media Murder Corp, two depraved serial killers with a seemingly untraceable access to social media, posted their latest kill to the video sharing site Live Leak. Within 15 minutes the video went viral, spreading all around the world via You Tube, Facebook, Reddit, Twitter, and countless torrent sites like Pirate Bay. While a sane person who be outraged and disgusted by such an event, there is a large (and more worrisome, a growing) segment of the Internet-verse that is taking a perverse thrill in what is fast becoming the most shocking crime spree in US history.

  The alleged crime of the victim, a 70 year old man named Mortimer Cohen Stein, have not been proven, so I shall not go into them here. Regardless, the fact remains a 70 year old grandfather was choked to death by two sadistic individuals who as yet, remain unidentified. But, if you go by the reaction by users on Reddit or 4chan or Something Awful, the only thing that matters is “the lulz”.

  The New York Times says that “lulz” means the joy of disrupting another’s emotional equilibrium. It is generally accepted that, at its core, it means to take joy in the suffering of another. And joy is being taken, by anonymous Internet trolls, faceless and safe behind their keyboards. This is not a new phenomenon, it has been going on since before the Internet was even invented. We used to call it “bullying”. But call it whatever you want, the fact remains that an old man was strangled to death and thousands got a laugh out of it.

  And who are the Social Media Murder Corp? No one knows for sure. There are at least two of them, they are female based on their voices, and young. It is speculated they are either sisters or otherwise close due to their interactions on the 5 videos they have released so far. How they can anonymously post their crimes to social media has not been determined. How they are managing to kidnap their victims and kill them so quickly before the victims are even missed is another puzzle that the FBI has so far not been able to figure out.

  All that is know is that the largest manhunt since Osama Bin Laden is currently underway within the United States. But that will be difficult, and I will tell you why. With the adoration of these two individuals, who named themselves Danger and Destruction, by certain segments of the online world, there is a chance, and just a chance, that the trolls and assorted malcontents who inhabit the cesspools that are Reddit and 4chan and Something Awful, could very well aid and abet The Social Media Murder Corp. I find that fact almost as scary as the crimes themselves.

  Alex Cain

  END BLOG

  “That blog sucked,” the young girl wearing the pink Hello Kitty pajamas said sadly as she peered at her laptop, a small plate of Pop Tarts next to her.

  “Most bloggers suck, fat neck bearded basement dwelling people who can’t write. Most bloggers just spew unsourced nonsense and biased content for low information people!” said another young girl sitting on a beanbag chair and drinking a Mountain Dew.

  “Hmmph, he said we are sadistic. Are we sadistic?” the girl in pink asked.

  “No, sadistic would be killing puppies or kittens,” the other girl answered.

  “What about babies?”

  “Fuck em, they grow up into adults.”

  “Oh,” the girl in pink replied. She shut her laptop of and finished her Pop Tarts. She got up and walked into the bathroom just off the bedroom they were both in.

  “What are we doing tomorrow?” she asked as she brushed her teeth.

  The girl in the beanbag chair got up and stretched. She was wearing only a large green t-shirt with a Legend of Zelda Triforce symbol on it.

  “What do you want to do?” she replied.

  The girl in pink came out of the bathroom and plopped on the large satin sheeted king sized bed. She hugged a large teddy bear to her chest.

  “Let’s take the day off from fishing and just do girl stuff,” she stated happily.

  The girl in green flopped herself onto the bed next to the girl in pink and smiled.

  “Ok, oh my God we can go to the mall and get our nails done!”

  “YES! Oh my God yes that would be ace!” the girl in pink squealed as she flung off her teddy bear and grabbed the girl in green in her arms and hugged her.

  “Lights off!” the girl in green shouted. The lights in the bedroom went out on her command.

  The two girls laid snuggled together in each other’s arms, their legs entwined. They lay there just staring into each other’s eyes for a long time. If one could see them, one would swear their eyes glowed red.

  “You know why I named you Danger, sis?” the girl in green asked softly.

  “Why?” Danger smiled.

  “Because being around you made me fearless”, the girl in green whispered.

  “You know why I named you Destruction, sis?” Danger asked softly.

  “Why?” Destruction breathed.

  “Because being around you destroyed my fear,” Danger whispered softly.

  The two sisters, forces of nature, kissed, and drifted off to sleep.

  REDIT THREAD

  SMCC HAWTNESS

  Lolcattington

  Ok liek do joo guise find the SMMC hawt? I’d do them both.

  Kneelift

  I would scissor them with mah vag!!!

  RadicalDan

  Uh how do we know they are really females?

  WestboroFred

  GOD HATES FAGS!!!! I BET THEY ARE FILTHY DYKE WHORES LOL

  DelveEve

  I don’t think I would feel safe having sex with two serial killers lol

  SteveblowJobs

  I would have sex with your mom does that count?

  Lolcattington

  If you don’t feel safe use a condom

  WestboroFred

  GOD HATES FAGS GOD HATES FAGS GOD HATES FAG!!!!

  Kneelift

  I wonder if God hates fags?

  WestboroFred

  It are fact. I haz certificates.

  RadicalDan

  If you could prove to me they were female I’d fuck them

  DelveEve

  I don’t think a condom would work with those two. Tactical nukes or a SEAL squad maybe lol

  SteveblowJobs

  Your mom rimmed me

  KoontPoont

  IM IN YOUR SERIAL KILLERS SHOOTING MA SPOOGE!!!

  Lolcattington

  Ah fuck who the hell let Koont back into the forum?

  Kneelift

  KELLY KELLY MADE ME CRY!!!!

  RadicalDan

  What the fuck does that even mean?

  KoontPoont

  THIS IS MY COCK!!!! ==============]]) lol

  RadicalDan

  Somehow I think your cock is much smaller than that!

  Kneelift

  I AM PREGNANT WITH DOLPH ZIGGLERS BABY!!

  Steveblowjobs

  WTF does that have to do with the topic at hand?

  WestboroFred

  GOD HATES DOLPH ZIGGLER AND FAGS!!!

  DelveEve

  Did you see there are like 9 Facebook pages devoted to the SMMC

  A-hole-Rod

  There are more than th
at on Tumblr! I’m serious the SMMC have fan pages on every social media site: Facebook, Tumblr, You Tube, everywhere!

  KoontPoont

  Do they show pictures of the SMMC’s vags?????

  RadicalDan

  Seriously who the fuck let Koont back into the forum!?!?!?

  KoontPoont

  ATTICA ATTICA ATTICA!!!!!!!!!

  I’mRichHimmler

  Big deal. Those two fuckers who shot up Columbine High School have dozens of Tumblr pages devoted to them. Sick bitches even ship them!

  DelveEve

  Yeah I saw some of those. They write sexual fan fiction about the Colombine shooters. And serial killers. AND the SMMC.

  ChadLeeBryant

  You are all fucking tards who dance for me like puppets!! Dance puppets dance!

  Lolcattington

  Well this thread went off the rails rather quick

  END THREAD

  We walk the streets at night

  We go where eagles dare

  They pick up every movement

  They pick up every loser

  With jaded eyes and features

  You think they really care

  Artist: The Misfits

  Written by Goodwin, Ron

  The two young girls were relaxing in the salon. They had cucumbers on

  their eyes and towels wrapped around their heads. They were soaking their nails in solution as two Malaysian women gave them pedicures. They started to chat with each other in Khmer, which they spoke when they wanted privacy.

  “This is so relaxing, we need to do this more often.”

  “Totally. I can see how people get addicted to the posh life.”

  “Do you think we are being excessive? I don’t want to be seen as vulgar.”

  “I don’t think the kind of people we associate with will judge us.”

  “We don’t associate with anyone though.”

  “Then we are ok.”

  “Do you think we need friends?”

  “Why would we need that?”

  “As some sort of social thing, everyone has friends.”

  “We have each other, isn’t that enough?”

  “It totally is, but I mean friends as in a social aspect, to keep up appearances and stuff.”

  “You mean like a distraction?”

  “Sort of. It would be a good way to blend in, so to speak.”

  “Friendship is overrated. You can only really count on your family.”